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DISCLAIMER
During this article I refer to the two sexes, (Sorry intersex people), because I think for the point I’m trying to get across, it will be easiest to use that. I do NOT mean two genders, I mean the two biological sexes. I will at some point make a bit about the whole section of genders, but for now I’m just making it about the two sexes, apologies all!
I’m being impartial. Which means, I won’t be saying things like “oh women clearly have it harder but, but men have some challenges” or visa versa, because really, life is not fair, and both sexes have their own unique set of challenges. This is for you to make up your own opinion.
Sarcasam alert, I am sarcastic a lot in this artical, it may take some asssumptions on your part to know when I’m being sarcastic, sorry about that.
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I received an email from a sort-of/mutural friend from my intermediate, who said that I hadn’t included some of the double standard’s men face, I thought I’d re-write it and try include more double standards. I also relised not everyone knows what a double standard is, let me explain it in layman’s terms:
A double standard is a standard forced on two groups of people, yet only one of the groups is held accountable for failing the standard. An example of a double standard between two groups of people, the two groups being the biological sexes, is saying “you aren’t allowed to objectify people”. We all know, even if we don’t want to admit it, that women are barely held accountable for objectifying men, and men are held over accountable in some cases.
Let’s jump straight into this one, shall we?
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Men
I’m starting with men because, it will be the most difficult to write outside of my own experience, so I’ve had to do more research! I hope I’ve done it properly this time.
Since I mentioned this one earlier, I am gonna start with it. I am not going to begrudge any women or girl that has been objectified, I’d say it happens to everyone at least once, but women objectify men too. Yeah SUSAN I see you. I looked up examples of objectification, and only examples of women being objectified came up. So clearly the objectification of boys/men isn’t being properly represented.
I’m going to go out on a limb and say women can get away with abuse way easier than men can. Women are given the benifit of the doubt, and men are constantly victim blamed if they are physically, or emotionally abused. If a man is in any way harmed, the usual response is to side with the woman.
Look I think this is the hardest one for me to talk about, but that’s literally why it needs to be discussed. In the situation of, for example, sexual assult, people are way more likely to side with the woman without any evidence. I get it, I do, the statistics speak for themselves. But really, in any situation, people are more likely to believe the woman in this day and age, not in 100% of situations, but in like 80%.
There’s this whole idea around being a real man is absolute BS. The idea of a real man is some guy named BRAD who’s just an absolute dude-bro who likes hunting, fishing, and watching sports. Really, most boy’s aren’t even like that. The ideas of how to be a man vairy from culture to culture, but the generally excepted ideas are: “men are protecters” “men don’t show their feelings” “men are strong”.
This creates this idea of men having to always save face infront of other men/boys, and to never show weakness.
Okay, so yeah. Don’t hit girls, it’s not nice. But also just don’t hit people in general, it’s frowned apon. But anyway, if a girl hits a boy, he just has to take it, becuase any retaliation on his part wouldn’t be really seen as self defence, it would just be seen as an attack. It should just be said, DON’T HIT PEOPLE.
Ahh, one of the biggest double standards of them all. The creep factor. Now let me say this loud and clear, there is a difference between someone glancing at you, and someone eying you up. Sorry, but some people just need to get over themselves a little, not every person is checking you out. But listen to your instincts, and keep yourself safe, whether it’s a boy, girl, nonbinary person, or someone of any gender. Now a lot of boys talk about this being a big issue where women will assume that all men are being creepy towards them (I hate the phrase undressing someone with your eyes but that’s the easiest way to say it). Women/Girls can stare at their crush and it’s “sooo cuuute” but if a Man/Boy stares at their crush, then it is just awkward and sketchy.
I thought of this one, and it’s actually really crazy in this day and age. I’ll use the example of New Zealand for this. In New Zealand, a woman can pretty much wear whatever traditionally masculine (and by traditionally masculine I mean pants) cloathes they want, and I doubt it would raise any eyebrows. But if a real dude-bro was walking down the street in the traditionally feminine garb of a dress, then it generally would not go down well. I know it depends on the area, but wherever you are, theres always going to be one person who says something bad. I find this really weird seeing as, cloathes and styles seen as traditionally feminine in this day and age, such as make-up, were worn by men a couple hundred years ago.
Women
Okay so this one was a little easier to write about, so I’ll just get into it.
Every time I hear this phrase it makes me really really angry because of a few reasons. Number one would be because the more of an asshole someone is, the more of that bad behaviour is expected of them, and less people will react. It’s so frustrating because the more gradually worse someone becomes, the easier it is for them to be bad. (Hope that makes sense by the way). The second reason, is it’s just blatant misogyny. This is because it makes it seem like a normal development phase to be an asshole. Particularly the phrase “Boys will be boys” makes it seem like things such as sexual assult and harrasment are acceptable.
Misogyny is hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women or girls. It is a form of sexism that can keep women at a lower social status than men, thus maintaining the social roles of patriarchy. Misogyny has been widely practised for thousands of years.
“Ladies first” seems like such a stupid thing to be annoyed about, but most people don’t think about the ideas that formed this phrase when they use it. In laymans terms, it comes from the idea that women are weak, and men should do everything for them. This is a form of casual sexisim that is seen so commonly.
“Oh the gender pay gap isn’t even that big of a propblem” you say. Yeah guess what, it will take well over 100 years to reach pay equality world wide. No matter the qualifications, industry, or even years of experience, on avarage women earn $0.82 for every $1 a man makes.
Let me paint a picture for you. There is a man named Steve, he’s married, with a wife and two young kids. Now lets say he cheats, with his co-worker Christine. Who’s going to be called the homewrecker in this scenario? It’s sure as heck not going to be Steve! Though of course, if both people consented, they are both accountable, women are held accountable way higher than men in scenarios of cheating.
Imagine you are sexually assulted at a party, and you go to tell the principal at school, or the police, and the first question you’re asked is “What were you wearing?”, as if this makes any difference at all. You could be asked, to “just take it as a compliment”, or if you had just been “flirting”. This is a very real form of sexisim, misogyny and victim blaming that most female victims of sexual assult face. Women are held accountable for mens actions in the same way that they are held accountable in stories of cheating. If you are, for example, showing too much skin, clearly it’s your fault you were assulted.
Okay so we can talk about this until the sun goes down, but sorry men, I think women win this point. A heavy period can be as painful as a heart attack! Giving birth, there’s no actual equivilent. Also, women have a signifigantly lower pain tolarance in general, though this can vairy from person to person.
So… what do you think now? Send your answer into Debates@audrey.net.nz , I tried to be impartial again, I hope this is good.