Dear Audrey

Where do I begin? Near the start of a new school year, my best friend Kate and I made friends with a girl named Jade. Over the next few weeks we became a friend group along with another girl, Lola, and a couple other girls. I’m Bi, and after a few weeks I was out to pretty much all my friends but Jade, because I had a suspicion she wouldn’t be particularly accepting, based on some past comments. Recently I had a sleepover with Jade and Lola, and I decided I would just come out to Jade, damn the concequences.

But later into the night I was having second thoughts, and discussed with Lola, who said that Jade would be trustworthy with any secret so not to worry. But Jade overheard, and started asking me what the secret was, and was being very insistent. I decided to just message it to her, so that Lola’s family, particularly her younger sister, wouldn’t overhear. I basically just told her, and she didn’t get the hint I didn’t want it to be broadcasted, and very loudly said “what does Bisexual mean?”. When I told her what it meant, her first response was: “Oh, so have you had a crush on a girl then,” and I said “yes”, the DUH being unspoken. Ever since that day, she has not ceased the gay comments, if anything they have increased. What do I do?!

From Georgia

Dear Georgia

This is quite the issue. Well, there are a few ways you can deal with it, but it can be dificult.

Most people would say to ignore it, personally I think that can make things worse. Like, why should you have to ignore someone elses bad behaviour, when they could just not act that way. You don’t deserve to be treated bad if it is a constant thing. If you think they are looking for attention, talk to them in privet, don’t make it a big deal. This can probably be applied to almost any bad behaviour you can see.

Call them out in the moment! Just pull them asside and say “hey that was hurtful”. If they are saying openly offensive things, then literally just talk to them. But if they are just saying things that rub you up the wrong way, you should still talk to them, but it may be harder for them to understand what you’re saying in the moment, so if you go into the conversation prepared, it may help you out.

If after you talk to them, they continue the behaviour then honestley there’s nothing you can really do. You can talk to them again, but sometimes it just isn’t worth your time. Maybe make some space between you two, and if they try to ask why you’re doing it, talk to them straight up. If they still won’t listen, just remember, it’s not you, it’s them.

I hope this actually is usefull…

From Audrey