Dear Audrey

First thing I’ll say is I’m an outspoken person, I know it, my family knows it, and my friends know it. But my main friendgroup has been excluding me and my best friend Molly from their parties, and now after coming back from school, they’ve been acting standoffish around me. I think one of the girls in my class (Jessie) has been badmouthing me to my friends, as she has a bit of a history for doing so, and has recently become close to them.

But I’m wondering, am I a bad friend in this scenario, for assuming I’m being badmouthed by Jessie? I know for some reason she doesn’t like me, and some of my so called friends in my friendgroup, the most popular girls, don’t like it when I debate their veiws, or argue with them. I know talking to them makes the most sense but I doubt they’d listen. They’d choose Jessie’s side, even though I’ve known them for longer, since Jessie is a very manipulative person, and is good at making people see her side. So am I a bad friend, and what should I do?! HELP!

From, Leah

Dear Leah

That seems like a problem if your sure they’ll take Jessie’s side. I mean obviously if a chance you could win this argument, them maybe try? But you seem pretty sure they won’t side with you, so it may sound harsh, but maybe this friendship is a lost cause? Try talking to Jessie about why she doesn’t like you or why she’s badmouthing you, because maybe she has a legitimate reason you can sort out together?

I really hope this works out for you. I mean, Leah, don’t stop being outspoken so you can fit into their tidy little boxes, but maybe there is something they dissagree with that you should work out with them. But if your opinionated personality is what they disagree with then they aren’t work the effort in the first place. You don’t have to justify your core opinions to them, and unless you’ve done something to harm or offend them, then they shouldn’t be excluding you in the first place. I’d love to make a part two with the update!

Thanks! From Audrey